Mum’s here are a few parenting mistakes I found myself making. And how over time I’ve learned to overcome and make them cherished lessons.
Not to say that I’m perfect, as I’m still learning from some of them. It can take time but once you are aware of the mistakes, it’s easier to watch out for them and thereby master them. So let’s get learning…
1. Obsessing over milestones
This won’t just be you overthinking it; it will be those around you, i.e. society.
“Your child is not walking yet?” And you will read magazines, books and research on Google, so much that you can’t help but compare.
STOP! Listen to your intuition; learn the cues from your child. They will do all that they need to do when it’s time. And it will be beautiful to watch.
2. Listening Too Much To What People Say
I have found that I would give too much stock to what people said. Even the offensive comments made by some inconsiderate people. So my advice is this, take people in small doses (sometimes not at all ha-ha). But I will add that some advice given is good advice.
Don’t give people power over you. They are just people. And always take everything with a pinch of salt.
3. Not Listening To Baby’s Signs
It’s important to learn from your baby.
A baby will always find a way to communicate with you, through sounds and actions. So pay attention, soon it will be like second nature.
As they grow older and they can speak and things will become much easier.
4. Not Holding Your Baby Enough
Here in Botswana, there are things that elders (and youngsters in some cases) sometimes say, “se tshware ngwana thata, o tla tlwaela diatla.”
But, is there such a thing as holding/lifting your child too much? I seriously doubt it!
When you have the opportunity to lift them, how long will that be? How long will you have?
Soon they will be too old to be lifted up, or maybe they just won’t want to be. So soak it in while you still can.
My youngest daughter just turned 17 months and I find that sometimes I lift her up for me. Because I need that pick me up probably more than she does. It comforts me so much. It truly is a wonderful thing.
5. Forgetting About Daddy
This one is a classic parenting mistake.
In the buzz of parenthood, everything is usually about mum.
She carries the baby, gets showered with compliments, gifts and food. Did I mention food? So daddy gets lost in the midst of it.
Remember he’s a parent too. Daddy is important too.
6. Lack Of Self-Care
We don’t talk enough about post-partum depression and how it affects a new mum.
Some people view self-care as being selfish. I put it to you that it’s self-explanatory. Simply put, it’s taking care of you.
We all know no one can pour from an empty cup. As a mum, I’ve found that I often left my cup become bone dry. When that happens to a woman she becomes a walking tsunami, everything sets her off.
But when you look after you, this will give you time to replenish. To refuel and be your best for you and your loved ones. This can be something as small as; a long soak in the bath, a walk, reading a book, writing in your journal, taking pictures or even hanging out with your friends.
7. Showering Baby With Attention And ‘Forgetting’ Your Toddler (Or Other Children)
This parenting mistake showed me flames!
It was really hard transitioning from one child to two children. I found myself spending more time wrapped up with the baby and ‘forgot’ my toddler. It took me time to find a balance.
It does take time, but give yourself grace. It’s just that at the time baby will need you more. But soon, you will have a schedule and things will settle down.
You’ll find out that when things settle, you’ll have lots of love to give. When you have more than one child, your heart will always expand to accommodate that and you will love even more.
If this is a struggle for you, try out some of these positive parenting hacks.
8: Yearning To Be Perfect
There can be a certain pressure of trying to be the perfect mum, the perfect dad. Or even, the perfect family. This goes well with that thing of being well put together all the time.
What is perfect? Who do you need to be perfect it for? Are perfect themselves?
The state of perfection is subjective; it’s different for each mum and every family. So I have one thing to say, today when you feel the need to attain someone else’s level of ‘perfection’ or just be in a state of ‘perfection,’ – DON’T! Just try being. Just be.
As the saying goes, we’re all allowed to be a masterpiece and work in progress, simultaneously. So embrace the lessons as they come. A little support always goes a long way with parenting, follow @SensoMama Hangout for shared laughs, advice, tears and fears. And find out when their next hangout is happening.